Santa & Banta Jokes

Refresh your self





Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa:Q: Why dogs don't marry? BantaA: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa Singh while riding a cycle suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When Banta asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died.
Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Santa: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

How did Panditji Kill a Lion?
Panditji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let the lion eat me.
Hari Om!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Santa goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

Santa & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Santa says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Santa says hot coffee Rs.5 and cold coffee Rs.10.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED & RETIRED!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Got upper berth.
Banta: Y did'nt u try to Xchnge?
Santa: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY?
Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Sardar and his family went for a party. He introduces himself -
I'm sardar, she sardarnee, the boy my kid & the girl my kidney....

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Professor Banta asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

On a romantic date Santa's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engagement, will you give me a ring?
He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

What does Santa do after taking a xerox?
He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa proposed to a girl......
Girl said: 'I'm 1 yr elder to you'.
Santa said: 'Oye, no problem Soniye, I'll marry you next year.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After Seeing he went to Delhi. Guess why?
The FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

A Teacher was lecturing on Population Explosion - "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid."
Santa stood up and said - "we must find & stop her!".

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa - "why are all these people running?" Banta - "This is a race, the winner will get the cup." Santa - "If only the winner will get the cup, why are the others running?"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

19 Sardars went to watch a film.
On being questioned about the big group, they replied that the film was only for above 18...

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.
Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa recently found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa gets ready, wears his tie and coat; goes out, climbs a tree and sits on the branch regularly.
Banta asks why he does this.
Santa: "I've been promoted as branch manager."

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor
At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn't have a daughter!
At the 25th flr: He's unmarried!
At the 10th: He's Banta not Santa.

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa wins 20 cr from a Rs. 20 lottery ticket. The Dealer gives him 11 cr after deducting taxes.
Angry Santa: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!"

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

When Santa & his wife filed an application for divorce, the Judge asked: "How will you divide, you have 3 children?"
Pat came Santa's reply: "Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR."

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa's wish: When I die, I wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep?
Not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Santa was writing something very slowly.
Banta asked: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
Santa: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast."

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Jokes,Thisismyindia, This is My India