How Company Policy Works-Truth of Life

How Things Work In Real Life

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.

Rules of Men in life

"The man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he has done."

 

The GUY'S RULESｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭｭ At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys ' side of the story.
( I must admit, it ' s pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.
 
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That ' s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.




1. If you think you ' re fat, you probably are.
Don ' t ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one


1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing ' s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don ' t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don ' t want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .


1. Don ' t ask us what we ' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. Thank you for reading this.

How to Recognize Brain Stroke

Dear All,
 
During a Evening Party a friend (Sheila) stumbled and took a little fall -
she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics)
and just tripped over the floor because of her new shoes. They got her
cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit
shaken up, Sheila went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.
Sheila's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken
to the hospital - & at 11:00pm , Sheila passed away. She had suffered from
a stroke at the Party - had they known how to identify the signs of a
stroke perhaps Sheila would be with us today.
 
----- A neurologist / neurosurgeons says that if he can get to a stroke
victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a
stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized,
diagnosed an getting to the patient within 3 hours which is tough.
 
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
 
Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps. Read and Learn!
 
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.
Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may
suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a
stroke.
 
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple
questions:
 
1. *Ask the individual to SMILE.
 
2. *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
 
3. *Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. . It is
sunny out today) If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks,call for
the nearest hospital ambulance and reach the patient immediately
After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify
facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the
general public to learn the three questions. They presented their
conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last
February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and
treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
 
 

Understanding your wife

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is
as Human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or
your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a
system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary
achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters,
almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home,
people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and
even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while
you sleep oblivious to her
predicament in her new circumstances,
environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and
cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are,
maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a
servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and
is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is
clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she
is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even
men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and
yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your
irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent
insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't,
simply because you won't like it, even though you say
otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just
like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most
important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you
just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she
knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your
sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if
you may call it.

But not many guys understand this...

Well… Give it a thought now!!

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIZENS OF INDIA :

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI
----------------------------------------
Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in PUNJAB !!!
----------------------------------------
Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.
The first two get together and beat him up.
That's DELHI
----------------------------------------
Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly opens a Chai-stall.
That's AHMEDABAD
----------------------------------------
Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes.
He writes a software program to stop the fight.
But the fight doesn't stop because of a virus in the program.
That's BANGALORE
----------------------------------------
Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense..
Peace settles in...
That's CHENNAI
----------------------------------------
Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth
and they start arguing about who's right.
You are in KOLKATA
----------------------------------------
Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house and says, "don't fight in front of my place, go sum where else and keep fighting".
That's KERALA !
----------------------------------------
And the best one is ....
Scenario 9
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a carton of beer.
All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends.
You are in GOA !!!

Pranav's Quotes

1. Life survives on changes - never avoid them. Rather accept every change as a challenge Either it will give you success or will teach you how to succeed.
2. In the ancient times,nobody had a watch but everybody had time .but now in modern times, everybody has a watch but nobody has time .so sad 
3.The world's smallest book entitled 'what does woman want?' got published with only one word written in it .EVERYTHING !
4.In life,god doesnt give people you want .instead he gives you people who teaches you, loves you, hurts you and makes you exactly the way he wants you to be :the best .
5.Great relationship is not necessarily about finding similarties .in fact it is more about respecting differences .
6.Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.
7.If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
8.What is worst ? someone has tears in eyes because of you or someone has tears in eyes for you .be honest
9.Its a fact that a women may not help you to get lot of money but ,,. Money may help you to get lot of women .so love your work,not women 
10.Before marriage - She expects. After marriage - She suspects. After death - She respects. that is all WIFE
11.The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
12.Now-a-days SINNERS are less dangerous than so called SAINTS
13.The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his cheque book open.
14.What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnet at-least have a positive side. :)
15. Aag suraj main hoti hain ,jalna zameen ko padta hain .mohabbat nigahien karti hain tadapna dil ko padta hain.
16.Appreciate what we have ,before time forces us to appreciate what we had.
17.Tere bina jeeya jayien na ,Tere bina jeeya jayien na ,bin tere ,tere bin saajna ,saans main saans aayien na 
18.Woman always use the best weapon in the world to defeat a man: TEARS.
19.In a Life Time, Man has not understood Woman only twice. 1) Before Marriage 2) After Marriage. :)
20.Zindagi mein 3 Factory zaroor lagao:Brain me Ice Factory , Zuban pe Sugar Factory, Heart main Love Factory. LIFE Apne aap SATIS-FACTORY ho jayegi. :)
21.Money never made a man happy yet ,nor will it.the more he has ,more he wants .instead of filling the vacuum it creates one .
22.If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money, so that you won't have to work.
23.Take care to get what you like ,or you will be forced to like what you get .
24.Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
25.If u want to know about someone's priorities ,look where they spend their money.
26.Trust starts when someone else believes in you.
27.ELDERS say that crime don't pay...so why do criminals have loads of cash,luxury cars,VILLAS.. etc etc..etc..??
28. Some people turn to God, me, I turn to whiskey. I don't see any difference ,my life still being guided by a spirit. :)

HR Managers Letter to his Girlfriend

Dearest Ms. XXX

Sub: - Offer of love!

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.


Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.


Request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.


Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

HR Manager